Today’s sermon is titled A New Relationship. There are various relationships: father and daughter, mother and child, boss and employee, brother and sister, and so on. We can be happy because of a relationship we have; we may be sad due to our relationships or upset because of a relationship we are in.

The ironic thing about it is that often times, we are distressed by the person we love very much. For example, we love our children tremendously. But when was the time that upset you the most? Probably you felt most upset on account of your children. Then again, how much do people love their husbands and their wives? But again, one’s husband and one’s wife are two of the people that upset them the most. From the children’s standpoint, although they dearly love their mum and dad, they feel hurt and upset at times because of them.

Though we receive grace and are filled with joy at church, many times we don’t even get to enjoy that joy for very long and are overcome with sadness when we return home because of the conflict and arguments that we face in our relationships. So some people who cannot bear the weight of these relationships even have suicidal thoughts. Or some develop illnesses due to the stress.

I heard a particular doctor say that most cancer patients would have had a very stressful event in their life approximately 4-5 years before developing cancer. And when I carefully observed the people around me who have cancer, and after counseling some of them, I found out that it is true. For example, a woman suffers terribly because of her husband. But it’s not the husband who always drinks and causes trouble that develops cancer, but often it’s the wife who is tormented by it that develops cancer. Because she had been so troubled and distraught in her heart.

In this way, relationships can make a person happy, sad, and even devastated. But we came to church and met God. After we meet God, a change is brought on all of those relationships. It is not only that we met God, but by meeting Him, amazing changes take place in all of our relationships with others.

Originally, we sought to receive love from the people we met and wanted to be understood by them. But after meeting Jesus Christ, we don’t have much of those expectations. Instead, just as I was a sinner and needed God, I can start to understand other people who are also sinners. You realize, “Just as I am desperate for love, that person is also in need of love!” Even with parents, we are used to receiving love from them always. But parents are also sorrowful people. They also need love. The senior officer in the army who used to give me a hard time also needs love. He is a sinner too. That’s how I can understand them.

Even though you might be a very understanding person normally, you won’t be able to afford to do that when you are going through a tough time. Because it is so hard to bear, you don’t have the strength to be rational. But there is something that God has taught us in those situations. And it can bring about an amazing change to your relationships. I would like to share a testimony of mine in relation to that.

I got married as soon as I graduated university. I met Jesus in my latter years of university and got married right after I graduated. I had a girlfriend I was dating for a long time. The reason we got married as soon as I graduated was that it would benefit us in our faith but also help us not to be distracted in our church life. That’s why we decided to get married quickly. But a few months before our wedding, we had a bit of conflict.

As is with many situations, it was over a small matter that the argument started. But one thing led to another, and when we have no room in our heart, it can be very difficult. When we argued in person, I tried to keep my cool, and just holding her hand would sometimes make everything okay. If I could see her face and have a smile, the matter was easily resolved. But the problem was when we were on the phone. We didn’t have mobile phones back then but just a telephone at home.

It was one night. We were talking on the phone late at night when we had an argument. It became more serious than I anticipated. It wasn’t over a little matter. We were talking about our future together but didn’t agree, and harsh words were exchanged. “How can you speak like that!” It was already so upsetting, and because I was very upset, I also said things I shouldn’t have. That made things worse. After I spoke harshly to her, I knew that I had done the wrong thing. But it was out of anger that the words just came out. I was upset at myself for doing that, but she also came back to me with even harsher words. So the matter just got worse and worse. And in the middle of the phone call, she just hung up because she was very angry.

That was already past 11 pm. Her telephone was in her parents’ room. So I couldn’t possibly call her again. I know we both argued, but at the time I was adamant that it was my girlfriend’s fault. Because we were discussing the path of our lives together, and I was thinking, ‘If this is how she is going to do things in the future, how are we going to live together as a married couple?’ I was very mad; I was hating myself, and I also felt anxious about the things ahead; my whole body felt weak. Because my heart was aching, I had no energy in my body either. What should you do in those times? You should pray, right? But I had no strength to even pray. I simply could not pray because I had no strength in my heart. If anybody said to me at that time, “You should pray!” I would’ve become very angry. Because I didn’t have the strength to pray. But I was thankful about something. If I were to pray at that time, I would’ve had to say, “Father God!” Yet I didn’t even have the boldness to say, “Father God!” I had no strength in my heart, and couldn’t say anything to God. I was hating myself, and the whole situation seemed hopeless.

But there is a wonderful gift from God. It is speaking in tongues. You don’t have to say anything to speak in tongues. It is your spirit’s prayer, which man cannot understand. The flesh just helps the spirit to speak to God confidentially in secret. So I prayed in tongues. This is a gift given by God to those who received the Holy Spirit, but even I can’t understand what I am saying. Yet I spoke in tongues so that my spirit could pray to God.

At first, I could only pray in tongues faintly because I was so disheartened. But as I continued speaking in tongues, it got stronger, and after some ten minutes, gradually my heart was strengthened, and then I was able to pray in words, saying, “Father God, help me!” As I was praying, “Help me!” I was reminded of this scripture we read from Matthew 7. In that chapter, it says, “Do not judge.” I was reminded of that verse.

So I opened up the Bible to that chapter. “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged.” That’s right! Who am I to judge that person? I will be judged in the same way… Thus I determined myself that I would not judge and confessed to God.

Yet on one hand, I was still filled with anxiety. I said to God, “If I don’t judge, that person will live the way she is now, and what happens if she is still the way she is even after I marry her? I’m not confident that I can continue to accept that sort of attitude of hers.” And then I continued to read the chapter. And just as we read earlier, it says, “Ask! Seek! Knock!” It says that we should ask if we need anything. We should seek and knock. Then we will receive it.

When we want something, we tend to think that we have to tell the person it concerns or demand that person to achieve what we want. However, you will find that often it doesn’t work by telling them. You could try to change your kids, but just telling them to change isn’t going to do it. But God teaches us that if we really want change, if we want to change someone, we have to pray. So I prayed, “God, change my girlfriend! Change her and her ways entirely to be sound.” After that, I was more strengthened in my heart and gained confidence.

I believed that God would change her, but what was I supposed to do? What should I do when I meet her? Should I tell her that I prayed for her? What should I do? So I read on in that chapter, and it said, “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” Then I realized, ‘That’s right! God wants me to first treat others the way I want to be treated. That’s the Law and the Prophets! This is what God wants to say to us sinners!’

I thought, ‘So how do I want to be treated?’ At that moment, there was something I wanted from her. I wanted my girlfriend to call me immediately and say, “I’m sorry!” But who was to do that? Since God said to treat others the way I want to be treated, I realized that was what I needed to do. So I took the courage. When I was trying to argue with her, I had no confidence. But since I made up my mind to apologize first, I determined that I would still phone her first and ask for her even if her parents picked up the phone. I prayed and was just about to pick up my phone to call her when my phone rang.

I was planning to say to her when I rang her, “I am sorry! It’s my fault!” But just as I was about to pick up the phone, the phone started to ring, and my heart began to beat very fast. ‘Could it be?’ I picked it up and held it by my ear. Before I even answered the phone, what do you think I heard? “I’m sorry! It’s my fault!” They were the words that came from the other end without even a single word missing; exactly what I was going to say to her. It was amazing. It had not been very long since I started my faith life, and that experience gave me great courage and assurance. ‘God’s word is thorough and faithful, and His promises are definitely true!’ I learned that when I obey God exactly as He taught us, He would bring about a result that outweighs what I wanted.

That moment when I heard those words from her, I answered, “No, I am sorry!” and I think from memory that I was so moved that I cried. I was happy when I heard those words but even more happy that God listened to my prayer and was with me. Therefore, if it were only my girlfriend and me, our relationship would have ended long ago. But in those critical moments, God intervened and led our relationship and made it beautiful.

Thus, I dated my girlfriend for 7 years. I met her before I came to believe in Jesus. But through her evangelism, I met Jesus and married her right after I graduated. And we are still together. It’s been about 20 years since we got married.

The worldly people say that you lose all the happiness 3 months after marriage, but that is definitely what they say to those who don’t know God. For us who do know God, it is truly joyful to be able to love one person and know him or her. We can experience God’s love and also the comfort He provides through the other person by His intervention. Now we have sincere interest, sincere affection, and forgiveness for each other and even know so well about each other’s weaknesses. But I can understand God’s love through him or her, who would even embrace all those weaknesses.

It is because God intervenes that all our relationships are made new. This is the same with children, at work, and so on. In God, everything is anew. All relationships are turned into new relationships. This is because the relationship with God itself is a new relationship.

Thus, when you meet God at church, it will not be about merely having a religion, but you will get to have a relationship with and meet the living Almighty, who is life, and in Him find every relationship with others turned into new relationships. In Jesus’ name, I bless you to abundantly experience God’s happiness and joy within those relationships. I’ll pray.

Father God, thank You for sending us Your Son Jesus Christ through whom we can meet You face to face and share our love. Also thank You, for in Jesus Christ all of our relationships with other people in this world have become beautiful and wonderful relationships unlike before. Help everyone here to get to enjoy such joyful and happy relationships! In Jesus’ name. Amen!